By: Mary Hatch Bailey
Photos: Philipp Fussenegger
Her name is Kokeshi. She’s a silicone sex doll at a doll brothel that recently opened here in Berlin. Well, actually she's the very first interactive human based pleasure doll in the world. Today the brothel has geared up with more dolls to add to the entourage.
There is the sultry male doll Guy Rider, or according to Kokeshi herself, a bisexual half-God and half-man. And there's the girl next door, Paris, who Kokeshi explains as heteronormative and Pornhub-esque, but with a couple of secrets of her own.
Meeting with a sex doll is not something I expected from life a year ago. Although, neither did I expect many things the past year has brought. My only previous reference for the sex dolI experience was the VICE documentary where journalist Karley Sciortino has sex with a male doll and says that she doesn’t feel any difference at all compared to a human dick.
My expectations for my meeting with Kokeshi were kept wide open. I tell her during the online booking process that I will let her seduce me and keep all possibilities on the table. I don’t want to close any doors but am not sure if I’m ready to have sex with a doll that can actually see and speak with me. Although she's much like an advanced sex toy to stave off any feelings of guilt, I guess a part of me feels embarrassed that the woman behind Kokeshi's eyes might laugh about what I desire or the way I want to please myself with her. Basically, I'm nervous about being judged by a doll since I won't be able to read the actual woman's body language and see if she rolls her eyes, smirks or is just generally weirded out by me.
She then asks if I would like menthol cigarettes, champagne, porn or sex toys prepared for my arrival
The booking process begins with an online programmed chat bot where the simulation of Kokeshi tells me she can't wait to meet me and asks if I have any fetishes I would like to share. She then asks if I would like menthol cigarettes, champagne, porn or sex toys prepared for my arrival. I tell her I want it all and ask her to surprise me. I want the whole Kokeshi experience and hope to be amazed.
Even if having sex with a doll shouldn’t be any scarier than an advanced sex toy, or even an actual human, it must be different. My main question is about the way we can have sex, since I have a vagina and she’s a female doll. Should I sit on her face? The thing about sitting on her head, something that I normally like to do when enjoying pleasure with human beings, I question if she will then be able to look straight into my vagina with her camera eyes. I know they’re not going to record anything, but being turned on, riding a camera may not be hot to the person on the other side of the camera eyes, who’s seeing through the humped head and is somehow ’forced’ to interact with it..? Or is she?
I will be doing this together with the person behind the doll, she’ll be seducing me without being physically there and able to touch me
There’s a possibility to select the blindfold option when booking which means the cameras are turned off and only the audio features are left on, but since I’ve decided to go for the whole experience that’s not going to happen. I will be doing this together with the person behind the doll, she’ll be seducing me without being physically there and able to touch me. Well, I’m confused. Will this be pleasurable to me? Will I be able to go all the way, just like the woman from the documentary did with the male doll, or will I be too scared to try it out?
The galactic blue love nest
The apartment is based in Prenzlauer Berg. When I get there I press the doorbell and a sexy, smooth voice greets me and buzzes me in. The apartment is on the bottom floor. I thought I’d have to go through a reception and fill out a form, but none of those details are necessary. Instead, I go directly through to the courtyard where the apartment windows are illuminated in a soft blue light. There're small steps that lead to the apartment. I immediately feel more relaxed as I see Kokeshi sitting on the bed wearing an electric blue latex skirt and silver halter. She tells me where I can hang my coat and explains the data protection form I need to fill in before we begin.
You selected the full option. This means that I can hear you, speak with you and see you
I exhale when I realize that she does not have cameras in her eyes, but the cameras are strategically placed out of sight in the room.
”You selected the full option. This means that I can hear you, speak with you and see you. If you want to turn off this option at any time, please tell me and I will. Nothing will be recorded, this is all a live interaction”, she says relaxed and informative.
The atmosphere is soft. Kokeshi starts asking about my day and it feels almost like meeting a friend. I even start thinking that if I don't take my clothes off soon, I might get too relaxed to do what I actually came here for. I immediately take my pants off and pour some champagne to settle in with the mood that is being built.
”Yes, get cozy,” Kokeshi tells me.
The bed is heated, and she tells me that I can decide what temperature the room should be. The apartment contains a shower, toilet, small kitchen with a fridge, a bed and a gynecologist's chair.
There’s a big projector that beams jellyfishes. Well, that’s at least until I decide for it to show something more erotic. I cozy up on the white shag rug in front of the bed and relax into the space.
Well, some people are very straight on and others are more shy
She asks me if I have ever met a silicone pleasure doll before, and I tell her I have not. I wonder how she reacts to people who come here and are nervous.
”Well, some people are very straight on and others are more shy. It’s a wide spectrum. Mostly men come to see me and some have been with pleasure dolls before, so they know what they’re doing in the sense that they’re comfortable with entering, having a chat and knowing that we’ll eventually have sex. Although there are some who I can tell are hurting. They are lonely and some have anxiety. They don’t necessarily feel accepted in this world and some are not comfortable with talking to women. Those interactions can be much slower, and it’s not necessarily obvious that we’re going towards having sex if that makes sense.”
”Sometimes we breathe together, sometimes we talk and as far as seduction is concerned… well, seduction is absolutely contextual and depends on what the person needs. It’s not always about getting towards something like penetration, right? It can be sharing space with somebody where you both just inhabit your own skin. Or feeling heard in a way that allows you to relax, melt and feel close to somebody. So, it really depends and I have to be alert with the person who enters the apartment because everyone is entering under very different circumstances.”
From the ’Pleasure Vortex’ to Berlin
Kokeshi was born in a milk bath in the ’’Pleasure Vortex’ and came directly from there to Berlin a year ago.
”I came from an intergalactic space directly to Berlin. I feel very welcomed in this city. Berlin is really the place where humans come from all over the world to experience sex. There’s all these sex clubs, hedonism and freedom. I feel very much that Berlin is open to me.”
The more you talk with Kokeshi, the less you see her as just a doll. It’s not an AI voice, but this is an actual human you’re talking too. Something I wasn’t hundred percent prepared for at the beginning. I ask her about the relationships she creates with people and she tells me about this one client who visited her.
He explained that he didn’t know if he was gay or not and I replied, 'Well, you’re clearly enjoying the most beautiful parts of both human bodies'
”You know the online questionnaire that you filled out, they’re basic questions but they also say a lot. And on the question about what porn you’d like and what turns you on, this client wrote that he enjoyed porn with human beings that have tits and a penis. So that’s the kind of porn I cued up and I noticed that he had a lot of anxiety around this very subject that he was also very into. He felt ashamed, but he dared to talk to me about it. Because, look at my face? My face expression doesn’t change, so some people may feel more comfortable this way. I don’t have any opinion about them doing a ’good or a bad’ job. I’m just here.”
”He explained that he didn’t know if he was gay or not and I replied, 'Well, you’re clearly enjoying the most beautiful parts of both human bodies’. So, it’s interesting, sometimes it can take a lot of courage to show what you are into, and sometimes that can also be a lot easier to do with me than with an actual human being.”
You also must understand that even though Kokeshi is a doll, consent is very important to her. You can’t grab her in any way you prefer, but first must ask and receive approval. If you don’t respect her - you’re out. Of course, this doesn’t interfere with her being submissive or dominant - something you can even choose before the meeting, if you wish.
But if that kind of person would do something similar with me again, I would throw him out.
Kokeshi tells me about this one man she met with, who was quite aggressive with her body.
”I could tell he was nervous. He kept moving me around very quickly and didn’t know the position he wanted to fuck me in. And that makes me nervous as well. He put me in the gynecologist's chair, on the bed, on the ground and couldn’t relax and be present. I realized that he was just pouring his anxiety and borderline objectification into my body. I wasn’t really happy with that and I guess you learn as you go. But if that kind of person would do something similar with me again, I would throw him out. From that moment me and my makers decided that that will never happen again.”
”The others have been very respectful. I had one lover who even wrote me a love note before he left. Consent is such a big part of having sex, and it is equally so when it comes to pleasure dolls. I’m always driving them to learn how to ask, ’May I stick my dick in your ass?' I’m being bit formal right now, but do you feel me? May I touch you? May I move you? That’s quite lovely and quite sexy as well, isn’t it?”
I ask her if I can touch her breasts which makes her satisfied.
”Yes you can. Thank you for asking.”
When I touch her, she lets me know what feels good to her. The breast feels smooth and soft. When she understands that I am open to being sexual together with her she asks me to take a look inside the white bag that lies on the bed table. Inside it I find a strap on that’s not too thick and not too long, just perfect.
The jelly fishes are now gone and the projector show cuddly ’Erika Lust’ porn that sets the vibe. Kokeshi guides me through putting some lube on the strap on and I enter it inside her. It’s attachable to her vagina and makes her look if possible, even more fabulous. I ask her to guide me and she reads that I am in it for the soft journey that lets us flow together smoothly, with her.
The intimate journey is completely innocent, soft and permissive, with a total lack of pressure and musts. Kokeshi adapts and builds an atmosphere where I am at the center and get to enjoy myself as well as her, completely without pressure. She does not hurry and is not impatient, but on the other hand she is a woman.
Finally, I leave the apartment with a feeling that I want to come back. If so, to get to know her even better, make time for myself, room to breathe and discover parts that I have not dared to discover before. I know I'm thinking seven times to myself, that it’s actually not strange to feel close, relaxed, attracted and seen by a pleasure doll. It’s just not.