Quiz: Discover Your Attachment Style

Filip
May 11
4 min read

Have you ever wondered why you act the way you do in relationships? Maybe you find yourself clinging to your partner or, on the other hand, pulling away when things get serious. Attachment theory can shed light on your patterns of behavior and help you understand how you form connections with others. Take this quiz to discover your attachment style and learn more about yourself!

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory, first developed by psychologist John Bowlby, explains the way we bond with others, especially in romantic relationships. According to this theory, there are four primary attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. Understanding your attachment style can help you navigate your relationships more effectively and improve your emotional well-being.

How to Take This Quiz

Answer the following questions based on your instincts—there’s no right or wrong answer! Simply go with what feels most accurate for you. After the quiz, we’ll help you identify your attachment style and explain what it means.

Question 1: When you're in a relationship, how do you feel about closeness and intimacy?

A) I feel comfortable with closeness and enjoy connecting with my partner emotionally.
B) I sometimes crave intimacy, but I often feel insecure and need constant reassurance.
C) I tend to pull away when things get too close, as I value my independence.
D) I can’t always tell how I feel about closeness; it depends on my mood or past experiences.

Question 2: How do you react when your partner needs space or pulls away from you?

A) I trust that they need space and I’m okay with it; I’m confident in our relationship.
B) I feel anxious and start overthinking or worrying if they’ll leave me.
C) I feel relieved and sometimes even prefer to have space myself.
D) I feel confused or overwhelmed, and I may try to get closer or retreat, depending on how I’m feeling.

Question 3: How would you describe your relationships in general?

A) I feel secure and balanced in my relationships. There’s trust, emotional support, and mutual respect.
B) I often feel anxious, needing constant reassurance that everything is okay in the relationship.
C) I prefer not to rely too heavily on my partner and tend to keep my emotional distance.
D) My relationships are unpredictable, and I struggle with trusting or getting close to others.

Question 4: How do you handle conflict in a relationship?

A) I handle conflict calmly, trying to talk things through and reach a solution together.
B) I tend to become emotionally overwhelmed and might need reassurance during or after an argument.
C) I distance myself emotionally or physically when conflict arises, preferring to avoid confrontation.
D) I react unpredictably, sometimes becoming anxious or shutting down, depending on the situation.

Question 5: When you think about the future with your partner, how do you feel?

A) I feel hopeful and excited about our future together.
B) I worry a lot and constantly wonder if we’re on the same page or if my partner will stay.
C) I feel hesitant or unsure about long-term commitments, preferring to keep my options open.
D) I feel uncertain about the future, sometimes imagining both positive and negative outcomes at once.

Your Attachment Style:

Mostly A’s: Secure Attachment Style
You have a secure attachment style, meaning you feel comfortable with intimacy, trust your partner, and have a healthy balance of independence and closeness. You’re confident in your relationships and handle conflict with open communication. Your secure attachment helps you build long-lasting and fulfilling relationships.

Mostly B’s: Anxious Attachment Style
You have an anxious attachment style, which means you often worry about your relationships and crave constant reassurance from your partner. You may fear abandonment and find it difficult to trust that your partner will stay. Learning to manage your anxiety and communicate your needs can help you feel more secure in relationships.

Mostly C’s: Avoidant Attachment Style
You have an avoidant attachment style, which means you value independence and may feel uncomfortable with too much closeness or intimacy. You might find yourself pulling away emotionally or physically when your partner seeks deeper connection. You can benefit from working on being more open and vulnerable with your partner to create a healthier emotional bond.
Mostly D’s: Disorganized Attachment Style
You have a disorganized attachment style, which means you may experience a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors in relationships. You may struggle with trust and feel conflicted about intimacy, sometimes pushing people away and other times seeking closeness. Healing from past trauma and learning to communicate openly can help you develop a more secure attachment style.

Why Knowing Your Attachment Style Matters

Understanding your attachment style is the first step to improving your relationships. Once you know your attachment patterns, you can begin to make conscious changes that help you form healthier, more secure bonds with your partner. Self-awareness and communication are key in building emotional intimacy and trust, regardless of your attachment style.

How to Implement Your Attachment Style

Once you’ve discovered your attachment style, take time to reflect on your relationship behaviors and think about how they impact your emotional connections. If you identify with an anxious or avoidant style, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist or relationship coach to work through any patterns or insecurities. Building a secure attachment style is a process, but with awareness and effort, it’s absolutely achievable.