By: Amanda Sandström Beijer
Photos by: Stephanie Telomere
Photographer and Dominatrix Stephanie Telomere let’s us in on her personal experience of being a dominatrix through her self-portrait series where we explore power as much as vulnerability.
'Degrade me' is an ongoing non-linear photographic diary exploring Stephanie's personal image and experience as a Dominatrix. The series is made up of self-portraits and point-of-view (POV) shots using Medium Format (MF) film and Polaroid.
Tell us about the drive behind the diary!
Depictions of sex workers in art history have almost always been as deviants and immorals, lacking a creative voice of their own. Porn and sexually explicit images are differentiated from ‘pure’ art forms, constraining the style and directness of an image to the ‘erotic’. My intention is to unsettle and confuse this kind of viewership, which is more often than not confined to the male gaze.
This project focuses on my career as a professional Dominatrix since 2019. But the form and my visual expression culminates from 15 years of self-portrait photography, as well as my work in installation art, theatre and performance. I frame myself in positions of power and vulnerability; I am simultaneously the photographer, the objectified sexual figure and the dominatrix. I also look directly into the camera, bringing together moments of raw intimacy with a constructed scene. I use a range of formats to emphasize differing perspectives. Polaroid is used to capture a moment from the POV perspective in paid Domination sessions; I use the sound of the shutter and the harsh flash to further my clients’ chosen experience of submission and humiliation. As for the self-portraits, I use a Medium Format analogue camera, holding the shutter release and displaying a release of control.
Besides being a Dominatrix and photographer, you’re also an installation artist and have studied politics and philosophy – wanna tell us when and why you chose sex work?
By studying politics and philosophy I was already reflecting on how our society is structured. I wanted to creatively explore these reflections and so after graduating I studied photography. My first inspirations as for many were the intimacy, rawness and beauty, tenderness of Nan Goldin, then the starkness and strangeness of Diane Arbus. I was drawn to self-portraiture as an exploration of the construction of the self, perhaps being at odds with our internal experience. I was fascinated with Claud Cahun and how they defied social norms through images of themselves. Still now I’m inspired by self-portrait artists such as Zanele Muholi who is using herself as a conduit to re-evaluate socially constructed ideas.
By starting self-portraiture (before the Iphone and using analogue photography) I looked at my presence in the world and what it represented through the image. I deconstructed and played with concepts around sexuality; exposure, confrontation, and tried to use self-portraiture as a way to disrupt the obvious. Fast forward 15years and my Dominatrix career is symbiotic as well as an informing my artwork. During these years I have also practiced performance art- bringing the body into contact with the audience directly. I was already using my body to play, experiment, connect. Now I like working with clients who have kinks; on a simple level they are expressing desires that are a diversion from the expected norm, I think this expression and play can be healthy and creative.
I use my body, my genuine interest in people and my performance background in combination with enjoying BDSM in general. It is more complicated and sex work isn’t something you should take lightly, but I did come to it with a positive intrigued attitude, and I see it as a career.
What does sex workers rights mean to you, and what’s your experiences from the political side, as well as from the sex workers side?
I correlate sex workers rights with inequality in general. Those who are most vulnerable in society are still the most vulnerable if they engage in sex work. I have the privilege of being a legal resident, of working in a studio, charging a lot of money so I can choose my clients carefully and of being generally healthy; I pay my health insurance and I use what is available to me in order to keep myself vigilant and stable. If you lack privilege, as with all situations in our society; any risks are exacerbated. Patriarchy and racism is the status quo and society also places sex workers as outsiders. We simply need the same security and safety that is granted to other professions.
So, for me, class inequality, patriarchy, globalization and rights of immigrants to gain legal residency, racism, transphobia are all struggles of sex workers because sex workers, as with their clients are in every demarcation of society.
What does a day in your work-life look like?
My days are made of a combination of working on my Dominatrix business, taking photographs, working on concepts for projects. When I have sessions booked, I go to the studio I work at which is all set up with great playrooms, lighting and a lot of toys, beds, chairs with stirrups and bathrooms with nice showers. I set up the space put lighting and music on. Check the session-plan which is things the client has requested, I collect toys I need from other rooms and maybe clothes they might want to wear. I get changed into my Latex or lingerie, finish my makeup and then the client will come in.
We have a conversation about their experience, we go over what they want. I ask them if they are a real slave or more of a fetishist. This determines how I will treat them within the session, either with commands and humiliation or more on an equal level. They go and shower and undress and knock on the door of the bathroom when they are ready for me to go and pick them up. I then bring them to the room and tell them what they need to do.
Throughout the session I will check their thresholds. Usually the safe word is simply ‘no’ or ‘no more’. For me it doesn’t bring us out of the game for them to say they can’t take any more pain or that they need a smaller dildo for example. We sometimes take pauses, and we drink water or Sekt.
Once the session time has ended, they go back to the bathroom with their clothes, we have a small chat and reflect a bit on the session I usually ask them how they feel. Finally, they leave, and I clean up the toys and the space and get out of my latex and remove the makeup. I go home and chill or take my camera out. It’s a great job but I’m always looking for new ways to unwind. You’re very focused on the other person in the session and it’s important to nourish yourself to not get burnt out especially with multiple sessions in a day. I also workout, I train with pole dancing for fun and try and build my muscles with kettlebells.
My goal now is to engage in more activism which will combine my photography with academia and my experiences as a sex worker. I am currently working on a self-portrait workshop that I hope to produce in various conferences, universities and later independently.