Guide: How to Be More Dominant in Bed

“Be more dominant.” Easy to say, hard to do — especially if your idea of dominance is just yelling “Who’s your daddy?” and hoping for the best. Dominance isn’t about being a porn cliché. It’s about energy, confidence, and creating an erotic container where your partner feels both thrilled and safe to give up control.

So, whether you’re a guy wanting to explore his inner dom or a woman tired of being “polite” in bed, here’s your no-bullshit guide to stepping up.

Guide: How to Be More Dominant in Bed

1. Understand What Dominance Actually Is

Being dominant isn’t about barking orders or spanking someone until they cry. At its core, dominance is about direction. You’re the one steering the ship, giving structure, and setting the tone. That might look soft and sensual, or rough and filthy. The key is that you’re leading, not asking.

• Wrong: “Would you maybe like to try this position?”

• Right: “On your knees. Now.”

2. Start Outside the Bedroom

Dominance starts with anticipation. Whisper what you’re going to do later. Send a voice note. Make them hold eye contact a little longer than feels comfortable. Being dominant is 50% psychological. Build tension before a single piece of clothing comes off.

• Example: At dinner, lean in and say, “When we get home, you’re not speaking until I let you.”

3. Use Your Voice Like a Weapon

Tone matters. Drop your voice, slow down, and command instead of asking. Even simple phrases like “Stay still” or “Open wider” can make your partner melt.

Pro tip: Silence can be just as powerful. Sometimes holding a stare says more than any dirty talk could.

Guide: How to Be More Dominant in Bed

4. Take Physical Control

Being dominant often means using your body to guide theirs. That doesn’t mean force — it means placement. Move their hand where you want it. Push them gently against the wall. Hold their wrists down. The act of physically directing communicates, “I’m in charge now.”

5. Incorporate Rituals

Dom energy thrives on rituals:

• For men: Make her kneel before sex. Have her wait while you undress her slowly.

• For women: Make him strip while you watch. Command him to address you as “Ma’am” or “Goddess.”

These small acts shift the power dynamic instantly.

6. Play With Restraint & Denial

You don’t need ropes or a dungeon to be dominant. Tie their wrists with a belt. Use your hand to pin them down. Deny them an orgasm until you say so. The point isn’t gear — it’s control.

7. Confidence > Technique

Your partner doesn’t care if you have a PhD in BDSM theory. They care that you own your role. If you hesitate, it kills the vibe. If you lean into it, even clumsy moves feel hot. Dominance is 90% confidence, 10% improvisation.

8. Aftercare Is Part of It

The most dominant thing you can do? Make sure your submissive feels safe afterwards. A glass of water, a cuddle, a “You were so good for me.” Dominance doesn’t end when the orgasms do.

The Bottom Line

Being dominant isn’t about cosplay (though leather never hurts). It’s about presence, direction, and playfully taking control. Anyone can learn it — men, women, tops, switches.

Think less Fifty Shades cliché and more confident conductor of desire.