I Thought I Was Vanilla — Until Someone Called Me “Good Boy”

By Alex Vale

I used to think “vanilla” was an insult.

You know — something people say when they want to politely tell you you’re boring in bed.

I liked sex. I liked foreplay. I even liked being a little rough, sometimes. But I never thought I was kinky. I thought kink meant latex, floggers, safe words, and someone yelling “Mistress!” while chained to a radiator.

Then, one night, someone called me “good boy.”

And my brain short-circuited.

I Thought I Was Vanilla — Until Someone Called Me “Good Boy”

The Moment It Clicked (and I Didn’t Even Know Why)

It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t performative.We were just kissing — slow, messy, the kind of kiss that leaves your lips tingling.

And then she pulled away slightly, looked at me, and said softly:

“That’s it. Good boy.” Something in me melted.

Not in the “Oh, that’s cute” way — but in the “holy shit, I would do anything you told me right now” way.

My body reacted before my brain could analyze it. A flush of heat. A drop in my chest.

It wasn’t humiliation — it was relief.

Like something inside me had been waiting to exhale.

Submission, Rebranded

I always assumed submission meant weakness.That it was something people who lacked control in life gravitated toward.But I’m a control freak — the kind who double-checks emails and plans holidays like military operations.

And maybe that’s the point.For people who carry the weight of control everywhere — work, relationships, emotional management — surrender isn’t degradation. It’s liberation.

Being told what to do, when it’s done with care and confidence, hits somewhere primal.

It’s not about being overpowered — it’s about permission to let go.

Power Play Isn’t Always a Dungeon Thing

When people think about kink, they imagine rope marks, blindfolds, or someone shouting orders.But power play can be quiet.

It can be in the tone of a voice, the tilt of a chin, or a whisper that makes you obey without thinking.

It can be someone saying, “Stay still.”

Or, “Don’t touch me yet.”

Or, my personal favorite: “You did so well for me.”

It’s psychological foreplay — intimacy built from obedience and trust.That’s what I realized that night. Submission wasn’t about losing myself. It was about finding a version of me that didn’t have to hold it all together.

Learning to Play Without Losing Power

After that night, I got curious.I started reading about BDSM (the non-scary kind). I learned about boundaries, negotiation, aftercare. I found forums where people talked about the emotional craft behind dominance and submission.

There’s something beautiful about the intentionality of it.

You don’t just “do kink.” You talk, you check in, you build a world together.Even in soft power play, communication is everything — it’s what makes it safe and erotic at the same time.

If anything, it made me a better lover.Because when you start paying attention to dominance and submission dynamics, you start noticing how much sex is about attention.

About reading the room, reading the body, reading the breath.

Vanilla, but With Sprinkles

Now, when someone calls me “vanilla,” I smile.Because I know vanilla isn’t boring — it’s just the base flavor. The canvas.

You can add spice, heat, tension, sweetness — whatever you want — but the real magic comes from knowing what you crave and why.

And me?

I crave the moment when someone takes control — not to hurt me, but to hold me.

To tell me what to do.

To see me.

Because it turns out, I’m not vanilla.I’m just a control freak who loves being told he’s a good boy.

If You Think You Might Be “Vanilla Curious”

Start small.

Try giving or taking gentle instructions. “Don’t move.” “Keep your eyes open.” “Say please.”

Notice how it feels — not just physically, but emotionally.

It’s not about props or punishment. It’s about power.

And power, when shared consciously, can be the sexiest thing in the world.