Confidence isn’t about being the loudest guy in the room (all women know this, but it needs to be repeated to the men in the back) or dropping perfectly rehearsed pickup lines, take it from me as a woman—it’s about feeling at ease in your own skin. The truth is, women can sense insecurity a mile away.
If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, avoiding eye contact, or stuck in your head overanalyzing every interaction, it’s time for a confidence upgrade. This can be simply by not trying to act confident, and instead letting people know you're shy. Honesty and being transparent will take you very far. And no, you don’t need to be a billionaire, a gym rat, or a bad boy to pull off confidence.
Here’s a little tip, on how to build genuine, unshakable confidence around women—without faking it.
Why Do Some Men Struggle with Confidence Around Women?
If talking to women makes you feel like you’re defusing a bomb, you’re not alone. The pressure to impress, fear of rejection, and social anxiety can turn any conversation into a mental minefield. Some common reasons men struggle include:
Fear of rejection – No one likes to be turned down, but taking rejection personally is a confidence killer.
Overthinking – Running a mental script instead of being present makes conversations feel forced.
Lack of experience – If you avoid interactions with women, you never build the social skills to feel comfortable.
Low self-worth – Feeling like you’re "not enough" creates hesitation and self-doubt.
The good news? Confidence is a skill, not a personality trait. And like any skill, it can be trained.
How to Build Confidence Around Women
1. Work on Your Body Language
Before you even open your mouth, your body does the talking. Confident men carry themselves differently. Here’s how to adjust your posture for an instant confidence boost:
Stand tall – Keep your shoulders back and chest open. (Hand around your heart is a common vision that tells us you won't let us in).
Make eye contact – Looking down or away makes you seem unsure of yourself. Instead, let them know you get nervous by being around them.
Slow down your movements – Rushed gestures and fidgeting signal nervousness, and honestly, it can scare us a bit.
Own your space – Don’t shrink yourself; take up space comfortably, however, be interested in us, don't interrupt or take over completely– we want to feel heard, seen and valued.
2. Ditch the Need for Approval
Women aren’t attracted to men who seek validation. If you’re trying too hard to impress, it shows. Instead:
Stop people-pleasing – You don’t have to agree with everything she says to be liked. It's fun to have you come with new inputs and ideas.
Speak your mind – Don’t filter yourself just to fit in. However, please don't be rude. Be a gentleman.
Be okay with disagreement – Confidence is knowing that not everyone has to like you. This proved that you're honest, and that's a game changer for us.
3. Master the Art of Conversation
Good conversations aren’t about having the "right" thing to say; they’re about making real connections. You could for instance try this:
Be genuinely curious – Ask open-ended questions and actually listen.
Use humor – Playful teasing and lighthearted jokes create chemistry.
Don’t overthink – Speak naturally instead of mentally scripting everything.
Avoid desperate compliments – A simple "You have great style" is better than gushing over her looks.
4. Rewire Your Mindset on Rejection
Confidence isn’t about never getting rejected—it’s about handling rejection like a champ. Here’s how:
See it as feedback, not failure – Every "no" teaches you something.
Detach from the outcome – Focus on enjoying interactions rather than obsessing over results.
Don’t take it personally – Rejection often has nothing to do with you.
5. Level Up Your Life
Confidence doesn’t come from just "acting" confident—it comes from genuinely liking who you are. Work on:
Your health – Regular exercise boosts testosterone and self-image.
Your style – Dressing well makes you feel better about yourself.
Your passions – Having hobbies and interests makes you more attractive.
Your independence – Being self-sufficient adds to your confidence.
6. Surround Yourself with Confident People
Confidence is contagious. If you spend time with socially skilled people, you’ll naturally absorb their energy. Hang out with friends who push you to step outside your comfort zone, not ones who reinforce insecurities.
Final Thoughts: Confidence is a Practice, Not a Personality Type
The most confident men weren’t born that way—they built it through experience, self-awareness, and a willingness to grow. The next time you’re around women, remember: slow down, breathe, and stop treating every interaction like a high-stakes game. The less you try to "get it right," the more natural confidence you’ll radiate.